Monday, July 21, 2014

Chatterbox: Something Foreign, part 1

This month's Chatterbox is something foreign. In the words of Rachel: "How do your characters interact with those of another culture or nationality?"

Westmoure from Revelations and I worked together using his character, Seiryn, and my character, AnnDrew. This is the first part. You can find the link to part 2 at the bottom of this post.

Now, without any further nonsense, I present to you part one of Something Foreign:

Seiryn closed her eyes tightly as she jumped through the shrubbery. Branches snapped and raked her arms, but then her feet hit concrete and she was tumbling, scraping a knee, but still running. Behind her, the bushes ignited and rushed into smoke and burning stumps. Then, from her left, a knife looped through the air, slicing right past her face. Seiryn slammed a fist to the ground, sending shockwaves rippling out, hoping it would stun her pursuers. She heard the click of Agramnon's handgun, and turning, she pushed open a door and stumbled through, not seeing, and pushing an auburn-headed woman to the ground with a shoulder to the face.


AnnDrew walked through the door, wondering what kind of restaurant this was. She'd never been to Egypt before, or any sort of Egyptian restaurant, so she wasn't sure what to expect.

She barely made it inside before she was knocked to the ground by a whirlwind from behind. The intruder grabbed her and pulled her against the wall, where they couldn't be seen from outside. The woman clamped her hand hard over AnnDrew's mouth and hissed in her ear to keep quiet. She watched out the window as three men in red cloaks ran past. It was only after they were out of sight that she released her hold on the girl. AnnDrew gasped for lack of air and turned to face her, wide-eyed.

"Who are you?"

The woman glared. "Shh. Agramnon could still hear you." After a moment, she looked down. "Call me Seiryn. But do it quietly."

AnnDrew laughed softly. "Okay, Seiryn," she whispered. "I'm AnnDrew. Who's Agramnon?"

"A murderer and a mastermind, but don't think about him too much, or he might sense you."

"Sense me? What do you mean?"

"He is present in the thoughts of those who think of him."

"Um, okay..." AnnDrew looked around for a moment. By now, anyone in the restaurant had gone back to whatever they were doing before the excitement. She stepped to the table nearest them and sat down. "Let's sit. Why are you running from those guys, anyway?"

Seiryn eased into a chair. "Well, most likely, they would kill me, if they could catch up."

"Kill you? Why?"

"I stand in their way. Why else would they hunt me? But this is not a place for such dark matters."

"Okay, then. So, are you from around here?"

"Egypt? No. No, I live quite a ways from this place. Uttsaria is my home."

"Where's that? I've never heard of Uttsaria before."

"It's the second largest city in Atlantea."

"You mean, Uttsaria is some part of Atlanta, Georgia, or something?"

Seiryn looked at her blankly. "Georgia?"

"Yeah, in the US. You know, one of the 50 states."

"No... Do they serve beef here? I've been eating salted fish for weeks."

"I have no idea. I was wondering what they serve, myself. I'm from the United States, this is my first time in Egypt."

"What do they eat, in that country?"

"Burgers, pork, steak. We eat fish, too. Pancakes, eggs, and sausage. Rice and pasta and potatoes. Soda, tea, and coffee. Watermelon in the summer, all kinds of fruits, really. I guess you can find just about anything if you know where to look."

"Ever had squid or octopus? How about Char? Or archerfish?"

"No. I've never even heard of Char or archerfish. What is Char? Is that a fish, too?"

"Yes, fish are the only native creatures in Atlantis. Everything else is imported from Phoenicia, mainly."

"Wait, did you just say Atlantis?!"


  1. Oh now that was cool. Did not see that coming.

    1. haha Thanks! Mind elaborating? I'm curious of what your thoughts are.

    2. Well, when she said Atlantea I thought something might be up. But I was thinking more along the lines of how Hades is under Los Vegas, and The Institute is hidden in London. I didn't even think of Atlantis. I mean, they're in Egypt for golly's sake, haha. And then she started talking about all the fish and I thought, what in the world, and then boom. Atlantis.

      I love how blunt Seiryn is. "I stand in their way. Why else would they hunt me?"
      And the idea of the bad guy being able to know when people were thinking about him was way creepy and awesome.

    3. Yeah, I like how calling it Atlantea throws you a bit before you realize what's going on.

      I thought that line was pretty cool, too! And I certainly agree with what you said about the bad guy.

      The credit for all of those things [unfortunately] goes to Westmoure. (I really wish the strikethrough HTML worked on here...)

      Did you read the second half? The link is at the bottom there. If you didn't, go have a look!

  2. I was a bit confused at first about Seiryn, but at the end it all clicked into place in my brain. Plus the whole mind reading thing with the bad guy sounds so spooky. Great work!

    Carly @ Books and Etc

    1. I'm glad you enjoyed it! (And thanks for commenting!)


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