Thursday, May 5, 2016

The Kindness of Strangers

It's a beautiful feeling when you post for the first time in months and receive five comments from three of your followers in the first two days.

So people do actually care that much about what I have to say and write? Who would have thought!

Thank you, luvs, for following me so closely. (Even if the only reason you saw my post is because you happened to check the feed on your dashboard. It's okay, I forgive you. I'm still absolutely in love with you right now.)

1. How often does she smile? Would she smile at a stranger? Of course she would smile at a stranger! To be honest, though, she really doesn't smile that often. More so now than she used to.

2. What is the cruelest thing she's ever been told? And what was her reaction? That she was worthless. She didn't fully believe it, but didn't fully deny it, either.

3. What is the kindest thing she's ever been told? And what was her reaction? That she was important to that person in a way that no one else could be, and that she had saved a life.

4. What is one strong memory that has stuck with your character from childhood? Why is it so powerful and lasting? That time her doll was taken from her and thrown in the trash. All because she was crying because the doll's arm had gotten broken. It was a deep and traumatizing event for a toddler.

5. What book (a real actual published book!) do you think your character would benefit from reading? The Book Thief. Everyone would benefit from reading that book. It's a masterpiece.

6. Has she ever been seriously injured? How severely? How did she react? She tore a muscle. She dealt with it; largely ignored it until the time came to go to a doctor about it, despite how painful it was.

7. Does she like and get along with her neighbors? She doesn't know them, except for one. She doesn't really live in a neighborhood setting, though she has neighbors and lives in the country.

8. On a scale of 1-10 (one being easy and ten being difficult) how easy is she to get along with? I guess that would depend on who's rating her.

9. If she could travel anywhere in the world, where would she go? Europe. She wants to go everywhere and see everything, but especially Europe. In particular, places such as Ireland, Scotland, England, Sweden.

10. Who was the last person she held hands with? Probably her SO, if she has one.

Well, that was a beautiful mess. And you don't even know who I'm talking about. Honestly, it was a lot of randomness, truth and fiction, all inbetween. I'll leave you to decide what that means. But then, isn't most all fiction just a mix of truth with a bit of a lie thrown in?

Friday, April 29, 2016

Sob Story

"It slowly doesn't even matter anymore."

I heaved a deep breath as I desperately tried to stop.
Tried to stop crying.
Tried to stop thinking.
Tried to stop feeling anything.
I was once a master of hardness.

Not hard-heartedness.
I still cared.
I just cared too much.
And so I shut off the feeling of it.

Now I'm stuck in a reality where I've allowed feelings in.
I allowed the walls to fall.
I allowed these things to happen.
And the reason I allowed it is the reason I wish I hadn't.
While at the same time still glad that I had.

Your secrets don't bother me.
My own do, but yours don't.
No one's do, no one's but mine.
None seem so dark as these, even when they are.
They're only a shadow of my own.
Of course I'll still love you.

No need to fear, you aren't alone.
I'm here, I understand.
I'll talk you up and hold you down.
After you fall you'll stand.

Tell me everything you've done, child.
Tell me everything you can.
Tell me all you thought and saw.
I promise I'll understand.

"Copper, you're my best friend."

"And you're mine, too, Tod."

"And we'll always be friends forever. Won't we?"

"Yeah, forever."

(The Fox and the Hound)

And in the end,
they were.

  •> this is to all who are and will be mine <•> I love you <•  

Monday, February 29, 2016

Impossibly Possible

It's February 29th. Leonardo DiCaprio has won an Oscar. And I'm in a place of life I never dreamed I'd be.

Rare and impossible things are beginning and continuing this year, and I'm going to be a par5t of them in my own life, for the rest of my life. God has brought me to a place where I can begin to make a bigger difference in the world than ever before, and I shall be taking these opportunities, seizing these moments, and making the best of them.

Yesterday at church, Tara ____ from the ____ County Department of Human Resources (also the foster parent of over twenty children and adoptive parent of four) did a presentation before both services. Before the evening service, she played this video:

Statistically, I am supposed to be dead, in jail, or homeless. So what happened? ONE. CARING. ADULT.More videos & resources at:
Posted by Josh Shipp on Monday, February 8, 2016

Afterword, Pastor gave his message. He's been going through the Beatitudes in Matthew 5, and tonight he preached on "the merciful", on mercy and grace.

I wrote this post on a day that doesn't exist. Anything is possible. 

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Glitches in Simple Existence

My crazy kitten running around the basement, chasing the air.

A letter written, if it counts as that.

Birthday wishes given, via picture post on Facebook.

I've gotten a lot accomplished for the 23-02 hours.

Still not sleeping.

Why does a single person matter so much to simple existence? Why does it matter that this person is in another place? How is the next room any different than the next county? Yet somehow it is.

Written last night, or this morning, just after 2am.

I fell asleep somewhere close to 4am, I think. And so of course when I was woken up around 5:30am, I barely stirred. I truly woke about 9am, realizing it was most certainly not 6am and that I only barely had just enough time to make the 3hr trip and still be early enough for my plans.

When your sister turns 16 six days after you turn 21, plans are sure to be had. When you arrive in perfect timing to find the realization that she needed a physical and did not get one, plans are sadly changed. Plans that have been in place for quite literally years. But, things happen, life moves, times change and people learn. Which can be half the fun of living, sometimes. Even the hard ones, the ones you endure through to the other end. On that other end, though, you always find better than you could ever have hoped for, if you truly endure through to that end. The good times lead to better, as do the bad. You learn that as you live.

Several days off, fought for but won. You'd think it would be simpler, having had this planned since years past. But... you know, people. Mistakes happen. I'm here. It's all good.

I never seem to write anymore, just ramble.

Stories, characters, swirl in my head but never land. I need the time to discipline my thoughts, perhaps. But they can be like a flag: best shown when flying free. I only need the post to tie them down to, to keep them from tangling in the wind and the trees and getting lost on the globe in the atmosphere.

Hopefully some of this makes sense. I tend to get wordy and no one knows what I'm saying.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Quick Sketch - Sammy

"Sammy, this way."

"I know, Dean. And it's Sam, not Sammy," he mumbled in response.

Sam followed his older brother as they hunted the creature their father had been tracking. Dean insisted on calling him that, and on treating him like some little kid. He was fourteen, and he'd been hunting for years now. He just wanted a little respect for once.

He jumped when Dean stopped him with an arm across the chest. "Watch it, Sammy!"

Sam looked down. He'd nearly stepped in a trap. He sighed. He'd never get it right.

Suddenly, he was on the ground. Something had knocked him over, something that Dean was currently trying to shoot the crap out of.

John appeared through the trees on the opposite side of the thing. Together, he and Dean put that you-know-what down. It was only then that Sam realized he'd simply watched the entire fight, which had lasted only a short moment.

Failed, again.

He just wanted to be normal, yet that wasn't an option. And so he tried to be this, but he was always last in line behind his father and brother. They always took over, he was just the boring researcher who made friends with the hunted.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Hey, there. Curious?

I've been nominated for something. I'm not exactly sure what, but I guess it looks like fun, and another post couldn't hurt just now. (Thanks, wisdomcreates!)

1. Did you always love writing? I guess that depends on what you mean.
2. Do you keep a personal journal/diary? Heh. I've attempted at times, but this blog is the closest and best thing to that that I've gotten.
3. How long have you been blogging? Since November 2012? (I think.) Though I started this blog, and actual blogging in March of 2014. The first one was only made because I wasn't allowed on Facebook, but was told I could have a blog. So... I had no idea what I was supposed to do on here. U
4. Have you ever read the whole Bible? Yes.
5. If you found a baby dinosaur in your backyard, what would you do? Give it to my sister to raise.
6. Are you an oldest, somewhere in the middle, or youngest child in your family? Oldest of five. Girls.
7. What is something artsy -- other than writing -- that you enjoy doing? Music? Drawing? Painting? Dance? Photography? Etc? I don't know... several random things, I suppose.
8. What is something you like to do outdoors? Run. Does that count? A lot of things, I guess.
9. If you saw an old man with a weapon threatening your parents, what would you do? (Sorry for the dark question. It's writerly research.) Sneak up behind him.
10. What is one word that you would like people to use to describe you? Um? That's a secret.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

When Life Gives You Lemons

Throw them at people. Obviously. 

Hello, darlings! I'm back.


That title was totally and entirely random.

I've been needing to write something for the most very longest time ever.

But I haven't had half a moment to actually do so.

As of right now, I have about half an hour.


Let me tell you the story of when I was a little child.
I used to run through the fields and climb the trees. I used to chase the birds and gawk at the snakes. When I was a little child.
I couldn't be stopped, I wouldn't stop, I ran as fast as I could. I had to get to the end of this place, I wouldn't have stopped if I could.
Now I'm grown and the things I've known have changed so much and it's crazy. To think of the things I've come to be, now that I'm grown, a bit hazy.
I still run around and I go and I go and no one can think to stop me. It's just another place I'm running that race of getting to the end and victory.

Well. That wasn't exactly what I was expecting.
At least I feel a bit better now, now that I've gotten some words out.

It's been so very long.

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