Rewritten

I hate rewriting.

I wrote it, I'm done. Thank you very much.

Oh, but wait. I love it!

Yeah, I'm a writer and I'm weird.

I hate rewriting because it's like redoing work you've already done over and over again and it's just annoying and I just, don't, feel like it! But then, once I get started, get on a roll, it's actually kind of fun.

Now, I don't mean editing. I always love editing. I mean actually rewriting. When you take a portion of what you've written and simply (or not so simply) redo the entire thing. In this case, I'm talking about adding description, making the words flow.

Taking this:

"Jess!" Jesse Parker's mom called to him from the bottom of the stairs. "AnnDrew's here." 

"Okay, I'll be down in a minute." 

Anna Drew Stevens walked to a nearby chair and sat down.

...and turning it into this:

AnnDrew Stevens rang the doorbell on the Parkers' side door and waited on the small porch for someone to answer. She hoped Jess was in and not off skateboarding somewhere; she had something to tell him and she didn't feel like crossing the neighborhood to find him. Or maybe she didn't want to tell him. She hadn't decided yet. Of course she'd tell him, eventually. Just maybe not now. Or maybe she would. It wasn't that important, really. But Jess being her best friend...well, anything was worth telling. Eventually. It's kind of fun to keep a secret for a while, to know something your friend doesn't. The question was, was she ready to give it up? It didn't happen often she knew something Jess didn't. But then, if she waited it might be too late. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the storm door being opened from inside the small cottage house. Mrs. Parker pushed the cheap screen door open as AnnDrew backed down a step to avoid being hit. 

"Why, hello, dear. Looking for Jesse?" 

"Hi Mrs. Parker. Yes, I am. Is he here?" 

"I believe he's upstairs in his room. Come on in, I'll go get him for you." 

"Thanks." 

AnnDrew followed Mrs. Parker into the kitchen.

I only wish I was at this stage

...and then rewriting it all over again. Because that obviously isn't good enough. In fact, I don't even know if it's better.

And back to work.

The Answers I'm Looking For

Just a snippet from my first unnamed book. I'm quite proud of myself at the moment. I've been wondering just how I was going to bring God up in this book when, before I realized it and completely without any planning, AnnDrew was about to eat; and of course she had to pray first. And I suddenly realized...well, that was easy! I hadn't even tried.

I'm probably going to look back on this (and the rest of the scene...this is only a bit of it) and think, Did I really think that was so awesome? It's terrible!, but for now I'm quite happy about it.

She set one of the cups next to Alex's bowl, one next to her own, and held out her hand to him. He looked at it, unsure what he was supposed to do. 

AnnDrew looked at him quizzically. "Don't you usually pray before you eat?" 

"Pray?" 

"Yeah. To thank God for providing what we're about to eat. We hold hands because we're thanking Him together." 

"Oh." Alex took her hand, though still confused. AnnDrew smiled, then bowed her head, closed her eyes, and began to talk to someone Alex couldn't see. He was still watching her when she finished the prayer and began eating.

What do you think? Criticize it, please! I have so much trouble finding people who say something more than "I like it" or, when asked if they noticed anything, "I don't really know...um, well, you put an extra space here". Nothing wrong with that but I'd really like someone to be brutally honest.

• Is there anything about the wording that seems awkward, that I should change?
• Are there any spelling/grammatical errors I've missed?
• What impression does this give you of Alex?
• What impression does this give you of AnnDrew?
• Are there any discrepancies?
• Do I repeat any words or phrases too much?
• Were you confused by anything?

Obviously, the bit I've shared in this post isn't much to go by, but those are some of the questions I'm wanting answered.

Leave a comment! I'd love to hear anything you might have to say.